


I Don't Wanna Say Goodbye

by CastielFollowMe



Series: Single Dad Shiro Verse [98]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Dog Red, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Red is a service dog, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 17:44:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielFollowMe/pseuds/CastielFollowMe
Summary: It was that time in Keith's life that he had never wanted to face. Even if he was prepared, he still didn't want Red to leave him.





	I Don't Wanna Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Can I request a prompt where red dies?... And how both shiro and Keith handles it?"
> 
> ALSO: If you want to send in a prompt: 1) I always accept prompts so don't be shy! They help continue this AU 2) I will more likely answer prompts on my tumblr @lordofthebigtimesupernatural as an ask or a message because I'm constantly on tumblr! But that doesn't mean if you send one on AO3 I won't answer! 3) I work 2 jobs and am a full-time student so if you send in a prompt it could take me a while to get to it! But I promise I make a list of prompts and go down them in order. 4) If you've sent in a prompt and haven't heard from me, it's okay to send in another ask to ask about it! I won't get mad. I may just have not gotten around to it or sometimes tumblr and AO3 eats my asks and I don't have it.
> 
> Or if you just want to talk my inbox and tumblr are always open! Thanks to you all for reading, sending in prompts and loving this AU as much as I do!

      Keith liked to consider himself as a rational, logical man.

              He often prided himself in seeing the reason or logic in all situations, rather than thinking with too many overpowering emotions and consequentially making the situation worse than it needed to be. He’d gotten better over the years at allowing his emotions to dictate certain situations but he still was quite proud of his ability to see reason and logic to everything that happened.

              Unfortunately, when Keith was emotional he was  _extremely_ emotional. Even when he knew to think with a logical sense of mind.

              Which was why Keith should have felt that he should have been better prepared for this situation.

              He  _knew_  he should have been prepared. After all, it had been 16 years in the making. Keith had 16 years to prepare for this day. He had 16 years, which was much longer than  _anyone_  had anticipated. And yet it still  _hurt._

It hurt so  _bad._

              He should have been prepared. He should have known. He shouldn’tbe so emotional. Yet here he was, having destroyed his room in his apartment, with snot dripping out his nose and tears down his face.

              Red was  _dying._

              And that was one of the top 3 worst news that Keith could have ever received in his life. Keith knew that Red had lived well beyond the years expected of a golden retriever, living a long sixteen years of life. Becoming a major part of six-year-old Keith’s life all through twenty-two-year-old's Keith’s life.

              But Red was dying and Keith had known the signs, yet he’d never wanted to admit them. Of course, he didn’t see her every day like he used to, especially after moving into Keith’s current apartment with his boyfriend. He and his dad had agreed that Red would be most comfortable staying in his dad’s house for her final years to keep her comfortable. She’d never officially retired from being Keith’s dog and despite her age, she still always got excited when Keith came back home. However, she’d been eating less and less especially in the past six months. Her energy levels had dropped until she only got off her bed or Shiro’s bed to use the bathroom outside. Her hair was graying all around her eyes and snout and she didn’t get up to greet Keith anymore.

              The signs were all there and Shiro and Keith had seen them, but neither of them had bothered to discuss Red's future. Both were too hesitant to say anything on the matter, afraid of reality. Though, Shiro had started to bring up the subject of Red’s future by mentioning her health in phone calls or commenting on her lack of energy. Keith did his best to avoid this conversation even when he knew he shouldn’t. He  _knew_  he should talk to his dad and he  _knew_  that he needed to be prepared.

              But he didn’t want to face the fact that his dog –  _his dog -_ was going to die.

              That is until his dad had finally called him with grave news. Red had  _cancer._

              Red had cancer.

              Cancer.

               _Cancer._

              Red was dying and this time Keith couldn’t do anything about it. He was a grown adult – twenty-two years of age – and he shouldn’t be as emotional as he was being. Shiro was heartbroken to tell his son the news of Red’s condition and as he heard Keith sniffling on the phone, he wanted to reach over and comfort his son as if he were a little boy again, suffering from nightmares.

              Keith’s boyfriend had offered to drive Keith to his dad’s house after Keith had practically destroyed all the pillows on their bed. It was unnerving how quiet Keith was during the whole car ride there. Luckily, he decided to head to work after dropping Keith off with a soft kiss. Keith responded numbly and slowly approached his dad’s house. This was the house of his childhood, full of love and warm memories. This was the house he grew up in, where his father gave him his dog tags; where he’d broken his arm. This was the house that filled Keith with so much love and hope for his future; where he’d learned of his adoption and of being autistic.

              This would always be Keith’s home and when it was supposed to be filled with hope and warmth, Keith couldn’t help but feel colder than he’d ever been as he stepped up to the front door. His mind was in a frenzy and running too fast for Keith to keep up, meaning that he hadn’t even realized that he had knocked on the front door until Shiro was directly in front of him.

              “Oh Keith,” Shiro whispered softly, pulling his taller son down into a hug. Keith blinked numbly, not able to move his arms and reciprocate the hug. Shiro merely held on tighter as if to make up for that fact. Carefully Shiro led Keith into the house, closing the door behind him. He worryingly bit his lip when Keith didn’t respond much other than responding with a quiet, “Hi.”

              Shiro knew that more often than not, Keith tried to rationalize every situation. He briefly wondered if Keith would do the same with Red, but that was quickly diminished when he remembered how much Keith  _loved_  Red. Red was a part of who Keith was and this was going to be a huge blow to Keith’s emotional state.

              For Shiro too.

              Shiro had dogs growing up amongst other pets. Kuro had even had his own pen of bunnies that he “found” when they were kids. Meaning Shiro was, unfortunately, used to the reality of a pet’s short lifespan. He figured that he was probably more prepared than Keith was, when Red was his first and  _only_  companion, but that didn’t mean that it still didn’t  _hurt._

              Red had wormed her way into Shiro’s heart and he would forever be grateful for that fateful encounter with Red, sixteen years ago. His heart was breaking and the pain in his chest was only worsening but he knew that this pain was barely anything compared to Keith’s.

              Red was Keith’s. Not Shiro’s. Not anyone else’s, and this loss would be devastating for his son.

              But Shiro would do whatever he could in order to soften the pain that Keith would feel. He knew that he could never fully take that pain away but he would do everything in his power to help.

              “Where is she?” Keith finally whispered and pulled away from his father. Shiro took no offense to the gesture and led Keith into his bedroom. Red was curled up in her bed, surrounded by pillows, looking much worse than he remembered. Upon seeing Keith enter the room before Shiro, Red didn’t lift her head up to greet her master, but Keith could hear her tail thumping weakly against the ground. Seeing her for the first time in weeks, and seeing her in such a state nearly brought Keith to his knees. He had to force himself to swallow past the lump growing in his throat as he took in the sight of Red.

              She looked bad.

              Her face was graying and her eyes were dull, barely flickering at Keith Her stomach looked even more bloated than usual and Keith almost choked, not wanting to think about what was causing that. Instead, he knelt down in front of Red and ran his hands over her coat. Her tail still thumped against the ground and Keith smiled.

              “Hey, girl.” He finally said and Shiro hung back. “Dad told me you haven’t been eating. I guess it’s getting hard, huh? But you shouldn’t be skipping meals and worrying dad. He’s going to be all gray soon enough because of you.” Keith’s hand shook as he continued to pet Red. Just petting her, he could feel that her breathing was labored and her energy was already spent.

_She was suffering. Was this how she was every day?_

              Keith sniffled and bit back his tears.

              “Actually, if I’m going gray it’s because of  _you.”_  Shiro joked, causing a brief smile to grace Keith’s face. “Red’s the one who kept me sane every time you got hurt or lost or did something stupid.”

              Keith snorted, continuing to stroke Red’s fur when he heard his dad walking towards them. Slowly, Shiro took a seat beside Keith and he too began to pet Red’s fur. Red’s tail wagged once more before she closed her eyes and sighed happily.

              “Remember the day that you got her?” Shiro finally asked, surprising Keith. Keith felt a fond smile growing on his lips as the memory came to surface. Even after sixteen years that memory was clear as day. “She has so much energy but as soon as she met you, she was already sitting and listening to your every word. It was as if your souls were connected and she was just waiting for you to meet her.”

              “Yeah,” Keith laughed at the memory. “I remember feeling bad that I didn’t want to bring all the other dogs home, but then I met here and I was happy for waiting. She was the one.” Keith could feel a burning behind his eyes, and he quickly ducked away from his father but he continued to pet Red.

              “Remember the time that she got stuck in that rabbit hole?” Shiro said, and Keith’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. Shiro smiled to himself before continuing. “She was so determined to catch that ball for you that she didn’t even see it until she had fallen face first into it.”

              Keith laughed again. “I remember just seeing her poor back legs sticking out of the ground and then crying.”

              “You were pretty distraught. _Daddy, Red’s stuck! She’s gonna fall down into Wonderland and never come home!”_  Shiro recited with a grin and Keith gasped. He looked up to face his dad and playfully shoved his shoulder.

              “Hey, I was like seven and that book was pretty weird!” Keith replied hotly but Shiro only continued to laugh. Keith pouted, momentarily forgetting his tears. “Well, what about the time she had to use the  _hose_  on you because you managed to dump a whole can of oil on yourself.”

              “Hey! Accidents happen when you’re working on cars and it was really hard to do it one-handed!” Shiro replied, without a hint of anger or annoyance. Instead, he was beaming at his son.

              “Yeah. That was your own fault for trying that.” Keith rolled his eyes, still grinning.

              “And how was I supposed to know that  _someone_  taught her how to use the house?” Shiro pointedly looked at Keith, who pretended to look away and not notice. “I swear she knew it was cold and  _purposely_  kept spraying me.” Keith laughed even harder this time, causing Shiro’s heart to flutter. Even Red had opened her eyes to look over at her master.

              “What about the time that she headbutted Blue into the pool by accident?” Keith asked with a smirk and Shiro chuckled.

              “Oh man, Blue was  _pissed,”_  Shiro recalled the memory fondly and Keith snickered. “So was Lance. I had never seen someone scold a dog before while cuddling a soaked cat.”

              “He was always so protective of Blue. Especially, after Red knocked a tooth out of his mouth when we were kids.” Keith rolled his eyes. His smile remained and he felt lighter than he had in weeks.

              “I remember that!” Shiro laughed loudly and leaned against Keith. “Didn’t she almost eat it too?”

              “Yeah! Lance screamed and she dropped it thankfully.” Keith replied, leaning against his dad with a smile. The two continued to smile as each of them pet Red, recalling all their memories with Red and realizing what kind of a life she had.

              “She’s in a lot of pain. Isn’t she?” Keith finally asked, smile gone and tears filling his eyes once more. Shiro’s shoulders sagged when the mood turned southward. Of course, he knew that there would still be a somber tone to the mood, but part of him had wished that Keith’s smile could have stayed. He swallowed thickly and knew that he would be unable to lie to his son. It wouldn’t be fair to lie to Keith; not with something like Red.

              “Yes. The vet’s surprised she can even move.”

              “This really is it? Isn’t it?” Keith croaked, sounding much younger and much more scared than before. Both of his hands were gripping Red’s fur in a gentle fist but his entire body was trembling. “I have to let her go? Don’t I?”

              Shiro couldn’t answer. Not without crying.

              “I knew it was coming up. God, I mean, we were lucky to have gotten so  _much_  time with her. So I should be ready for this. I should have prepared.” Keith whispered hoarsely. Shiro knew that if he spoke, he was going to start crying again. However, his son needed to be comforted right now and his own emotions were nothing compared to Keith.

              Quietly, Shiro pulled Keith into a hug and Keith buried his face into his dad’s chest. The scene was all too familiar and it was almost as if Keith were four-years-old again after a nightmare, and Shiro was twenty-nine.

              “I have to let her go. She’s suffering dad. She’s in so much pain and I’m keeping her in pain.” Keith cried, tears finally falling down her face. “I’m being selfish and I have to let her go. I should let her go! _But I don’t want to let her go!”_

              “Oh sweetheart,” Shiro said softly. It had been years since he had last called Keith any sort of nickname. “I know. I know. I don’t either and it’s okay to be upset and want her to stay. If I could take away her pain and keep her here forever for you, you know I would. But you’re right. We should let her go. That doesn’t mean she’ll be gone forever.”

              Keith cried even harder into Shiro and Shiro tightened his arms around Keith.

              “She’ll never be gone from our hearts or our memories. We’ll always be able to smile and laugh about how much she changed our lives – changed  _yours_  for the better. She’ll always be watching over you and you know, maybe one day you’ll see her again.”

              “I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want her to go.” Keith whispered brokenly and Shiro rubbed a hand up and down her back.

              “I know. Me too, sweetheart, me too.” Shiro murmured. “But like you said, you know she has to. It’s not fair if we continue to let her suffer anymore. I know it’s not fair that she’s leaving us and I wish –  _goddamn how I wish –_ that she could stay forever, but we can’t. We can just keep her company and help her in her final moments to make her as happy as she’s made up.”

              Keith sniffled and was silent for a few more moments before nodding. “She deserves only the best, after everything she’s done for me.” With that, Shiro and Keith waited at Red’s side and were with her until her final moments.

              Red died on Monday, September 8 at 4:01 in the morning with her masters and her best friends, Shiro and Keith, at her side.

              Keith had her cremated and kept her ashes in a tin can, with a clay mold of her paw print and a teeny handprint that was Keith’s when he was a child. Inside the paw print was a picture taken of Red, a few months ago when she could still walk around, laying in Keith’s arms upside down and tongue out. Both Keith and Red wore identical smiles, and Shiro had been the one to take the photo.

              Keith smiled, fingers tracing the photo before he added an old, worn-down dog tag to the pile.

               _Red Shirogane._

_The only girl who could ever have stolen Keith’s heart._


End file.
